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Book of secrets page 478/11/2023 ![]() They decide that turning this whole thing into a movie would be cultural appropriation, so they leave.Ī note hidden inside the Bible used to swear Jimmy Carter into office reveals the existence of a huge cache of historical documents on the moon. Nic Cage notices some petroglyphs that lead to a vast Puebloan treasure. The gang goes to Frijoles Canyon in New Mexico. “I only love America.”Ī film that’s just four hours of the joke structure “The real national treasure is…” “Sorry, I don’t know shit about Jesus,” Nic Cage says. The journey to get him back leads the gang to the Canyon of the Crescent Moon, where a Grail Knight challenges Nic Cage to identify the true grail. Nic Cage’s father gets kidnapped by Nazis while searching for the Holy Grail. ![]() It turns out the gold was inside Old Faithful, where it has long since melted. The search takes the gang to the first National Park, Yellowstone. In a rediscovered recording of the Fireside Chats, Franklin Roosevelt reveals in pig latin that his relative Teddy Roosevelt hid a massive amount of gold somewhere, but got blackout drunk and forgot where. The movie ends with Trump and Cruz drowning in a secret underwater palace on Cape Cod. It falls to Nic Cage to discover the truth. Justin Bartha hasn’t seen that movie, so Nic Cage spends 5 minutes explaining the plot.ĭonald Trump accuses Ted Cruz’s father of being involved in JFK’s assassination. “Oh, this is the place from Close Encounters Of The Third Kind,” Nic Cage realizes. Nic Cage carries a torch for the entire movie, even during when it’s fully light outside.Ī map on the back of the Articles Of Confederation leads the gang to Devil’s Tower in northern Wyoming. There are three separate scenes where Justin Bartha falls into a big hole.ĭiane Kruger realizes that if you read the Federalist Papers backwards, they reveal the location of a famous shipwreck. Everyone is really forced to confront their white privilege. Nic Cage is forced to kidnap former Chicago resident Barack Obama, who agrees not to press charges if he is allowed to use the movie to plug healthcare.Ī riddle contained in the newly designed but not yet released $20 bill alerts Nic Cage and company to the fact that Harriet Tubman hid millions of dollars of stolen Confederate treasure along the route of the Underground Railroad. We finally learn what was on page 47 of the Book Of Secrets: a crossword in the margins of the Northwest Ordinance reveals there’s a bunch of emeralds hidden in what is now Chicago. I would like to serve my country by jumpstarting the writing process. It has been nine years since a National Treasure film was released the third is apparently in a script-related delay. I love the movies NATIONAL TREASURE and NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS, because my three favorite things in the world are America, treasure, and hot young men (Justin Bartha) in glasses. Here they are all standing in a row.The world needs that third installment in the franchise Even the Articles of Confederation took a few drafts to write. ![]() You've brought the little bobbies down on us! "You take the missis outside." I'm staying right here.Ģnd Security Guard: Good afternoon, sir.Ģnd Security Guard: Been drinking, have we?īen: Just a nip! Just popped down to the pub for a pint, bit of all right! Going to arrest a man for that? Gonna detain a blighter for enjoying his whiskey?!Ģnd Security Guard: That's it! Dismount the banister!īen: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. She thinks that even when I'm right, I'm wrong! Isn't that right! Abigail, just because I answer a question quickly, doesn't make it wrong!Ībigail: Not if the right answer is something we need to figure out together, as a couple! That's what couples do, Ben!ġst Security Guard: Sir, you and your missis, take it outside.īen: Oh, now look what you've done. Riley: No, we want to make a scene.īen: Well then fine! If that's what you want, let's have it out right now!īen: Well let me guess! It's the wrong time! It's the wrong place! I'm wrong again! Wrong about us! Wrong about Thomas Gates! Wrong that you'd like the Queen Anne chair!Ībigail: You're wrong to assume I'd like the chair!īen: You see? You see everybody? Listen to this. Riley: Ben, remember the plan.Ībigail: And what you've decided is that you don't need it.īen: You're the one who's making a scene right now.Ībigail: I.I'm not making a scene right now! But it's kind of a bad time right now.Ībigail: Okay, I.I just flew all the way to London to offer my help. Riley: Drop Her, lose her.īen: That's very nice. ![]() Riley: Abigail? What's she doing here?Ībigail: Your dad called me. ![]()
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